


Weird shitt happening on steam mount and blade rp's

by Lannister4Life



Category: Drunks roleplay
Genre: Multi, wtf is this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-07 13:56:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8803477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lannister4Life/pseuds/Lannister4Life
Summary: You should not read this if you value your mental health.





	1. Why is this real

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING DO NOT READ IF UNDER 30!

Drunk Robbie Rotten: Can I cut off your dick  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: And stick a bean in it  
King Ivan: maybe  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Removes your pubic hairs one by one*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Makes a mustace for you from your pubic hairs*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: There  
King Ivan: danks  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Pulls out your eyes*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Makes a hole in your scrotum*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Drains fluid*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Removes testicles*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Replaces your eyeballs in your scrotum, and your testicles in your eye sockets*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: There  
King Ivan: thanks dad  
King Ivan: plz  
King Ivan: i want ur ass noa  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Shoves your head in my ass*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Sucks in your head further with my ass*  
King Ivan: wow dad  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *takes a shit*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *my shit goes into your mouth*  
King Ivan: *sucks shit down throat*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *sucks your head into my large intestine*  
King Ivan: *shoves legs down ur throat*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *breaks your legs*  
King Ivan: Prys open ur nose, and shves dick all the way up your ass and out your mouth*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *my stomach acid desolves the middle of your dick*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *I bite off the tip of your dick*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Your dick is severed in two*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *swallows one half of it*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Sucks in the other*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: Both enter my stomach*  
King Ivan: *cuts off ball sack, and shoves down harrys wardens throat*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Grabs you*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Shits you out*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Ties you to a building*  
Drunk Robbie Rotten: *Shoves a steel rod up your asshole*  
King Ivan: *jumps out of ass and flys out window into space*  
King Ivan: The end


	2. Nipple time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ;-; By common request

One day harold harnipples met harold softnipples.

Harold sucked softnipples extremely soft nipples, and slapped his ass with a mustard jar.

Softnipple cummed out of his nipples, and hardnipples swalloed it all

They then started sucking eachothers ballsacks, and chewing the hair off it. 

They made the hair into mustachios, and put them on each other

Drunk burst through the window, and started hitting them both with a giant dildo

In unision, both nipples grabbed the dildo, and shoved it down drunks ass.

Then everyone orgasimed and lived happily ever after getting high.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> xD


	3. dank meme school roleplay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> why is this real?

Drunk Repressed Farmer: yo  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Is dat kewl gum dealer at scool*  
Ivan the Turtle: wat  
Ivan the Turtle: u have em 2  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Who is so cool he got 3 detentions in a day*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: Yo  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: How much gum ya want  
Ivan the Turtle: 5 nigerian blaots plz  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Throws up five double bubbles*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Catches them*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Does an elaborate cool-ass dance with them, then throws them like a basketball individually into your hand*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: Yo! Here!  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Spits gum onto the floor*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Chews another 15 double bubbles*  
Ivan the Turtle: yo yo yo *Wraps sweater around waist*  
Ivan the Turtle: *wraps another round neck*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: Yo  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: Mah dawg  
Ivan the Turtle: *Puts on sexy blue jacket with 5 letters on it for no reason*  
Ivan the Turtle: YO YO YO  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: YO YO YO  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: UP TOPS BROTHA!  
Ivan the Turtle: *Highfives*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *The Teacher comes in*  
Ivan the Turtle: NOW LETS GO HAVE SOME (family friendly) FUN YO!  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Gives us both lunch detentions*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: YO!  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: SHIT DAWG!  
Ivan the Turtle: NOT COOL BRUH!  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: I GOTTA FOURTH DETENTION TODAY!  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: NOT COOL!  
Ivan the Turtle: i mean, yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: YO YO YO YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Dabs*  
Ivan the Turtle: *RKO's someone*  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: YO DID YOU JUST ASSUME MY GENDER?  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: YO BROTHA, THAT VINE FUNNY!  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Ivan the Turtle: DAMN DANIEL  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: YO YO YO YOOOOOOO  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Takes the principal's water bottle*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Does a flip with it*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Dabs*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Ivan the Turtle: Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: // Just a minute  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: // Geting Pugler to be principal  
Your chat with Drunk Repressed Farmer is now a multi-user chat.  
Big Smoke entered chat.  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Big Smoke: *is Principal Phuck*  
Ivan the Turtle: MY NIGERIAN BRUDA  
Big Smoke: NO FUCKING YELLING IN THE HALLWAY  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: YO  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: Come on dawg!  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Big Smoke: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WASSUPMYDAWG  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: I just did a water bottle flip with your water bottle  
Ivan the Turtle: NOT KOOL MR PRINCIPAL MAN  
Big Smoke: FUK BROOOOOOOOOOOO  
Big Smoke: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Spits gum on the principal*  
Ivan the Turtle: *flips 5 waterbottles at some time*  
Big Smoke: WE GON SMOKE THAT BITCH  
Ivan the Turtle: *All land on cap*  
Big Smoke: WHAT THE FUCK  
Big Smoke: YOU  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Big Smoke: ARE  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Gets another glob of gum*  
Big Smoke: WHAT THE  
Ivan the Turtle: AWESOME?  
Big Smoke: STOP  
Ivan the Turtle: I KNOW  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Chews*  
Big Smoke: YOU'RE FIRED  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!  
Big Smoke: SHUT THE FUCK UP  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: I'M YOUR STUDENT DAWG.  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: IN DA JUNIOR HIGH  
Big Smoke: SHUT THE FUCK UP  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Spits gum on the principal*  
Big Smoke: DETENTIN  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Holds hand infront of the principal's face*  
Big Smoke: DETENTION  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Slaps his neck*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: NEHH!  
Big Smoke: *takes out gun*  
Big Smoke: *points at his studen*  
Big Smoke: NIGGER  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: I'M WHITE BOI  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Blows a massive bubble gum bubble*  
Big Smoke: SHUT THE FUCK UP CRACKER  
Big Smoke: *shoots bubble*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: WOAH!  
Big Smoke: BITCH  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: MY BROTHA DOES THAT WITH A BEE BEE GUN!  
Big Smoke: DETENTION  
Big Smoke: FUCKING  
Big Smoke: DETENTION  
Big Smoke: DE  
Big Smoke: TEN  
Big Smoke: TION  
Big Smoke: DO I NEED TO SPELL IT OUT?  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Big Smoke: DE T E N T E O N  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Big Smoke: DETENTION  
Big Smoke: CUNT  
Ivan the Turtle: PRINCIPLEMAN  
Big Smoke: SHUT THE FUCK UP  
Ivan the Turtle: NO KO0L  
Big Smoke: YOURE IN DETENTION TOO  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Ivan the Turtle: TAHTS NOT KOOL  
Big Smoke: SHUT THE FUCK UP  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Big Smoke: I'M CALLING YOUR MOM  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: GARGHHHHHHHHHHHJAHGJDHGHAJGHJDHGAJAHJDHGJDHGDJGHDJGHDGJDHGJDHGHDHGDJHGDJGHDJGHDJGJDGHDJGHDJGDHJGHDJGDGJDHGHDJGDJGHDJGDJHGDHJGHDJGDHGDHJGJDGDJHGDHGDHJGD  
Ivan the Turtle: DONT DO IT YO  
Ivan the Turtle: PLZ  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Ivan the Turtle: PLZ  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Screams like a retard thinking I am a class clown*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: KALFLASKFLALFKDKAFLKFLDAFKKLAFDE  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: HURHURHURHURHURDURDURDURDURDURDURDURDUR  
Big Smoke: STOP  
Big Smoke: CUNT  
Big Smoke: *calls retard police*  
Ivan the Turtle: ALLAH AKBAR YO  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: STOP CUNT  
Big Smoke: BITCH  
Ivan the Turtle: IM A TROUBLED TEEN  
Big Smoke: UNDER ARREST  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH  
Big Smoke: UNDER TENTENTION  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
Ivan the Turtle: *Reaches into locker*  
Big Smoke: NIGGERS! *shoots at ivan*  
Ivan the Turtle: *Pulls out machine gun*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Pulls out gun at the principal*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Squirts*  
Ivan the Turtle: *Fires at principal* YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: WATER GUN YOOO!  
Ivan the Turtle: YO  
Big Smoke: *keeps shooting at ivan and drunk*  
Ivan the Turtle: OYOY  
Ivan the Turtle: OY  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: LOOSEN UP!  
Ivan the Turtle: YY  
Ivan the Turtle: YOY  
Ivan the Turtle: YOY  
Ivan the Turtle: YOY  
Ivan the Turtle: YO  
Ivan the Turtle: YO  
Ivan the Turtle: YOYOYO  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOY  
Big Smoke: FUCK YYEEWW  
Big Smoke: MURICA  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *The guns from ivan and i are water guns*  
Big Smoke: FOKIN REDNEK  
Big Smoke: MURICAAA  
Ivan the Turtle: *goes yo at every shot  
Big Smoke: *mine isnt*  
Ivan the Turtle: yo yo yoy oy yoy oyoyoyooyyoy oyo yo yo y  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: // You know you are screaming at like 11 year olds smoke?  
Big Smoke: //ye  
Ivan the Turtle: DIE NIGERIAN SCUM  
Big Smoke: SHUT THE FUCK UP  
Big Smoke: YOURE 11  
Big Smoke: CUNT  
Big Smoke: STOP  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Runs out of principals office*  
Big Smoke: SHUT UP  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Big Smoke: WHERE THE FUCK  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
Big Smoke: *pulls out real gun*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: MAKE ER RUN FOR IT!  
Big Smoke: *shoots at drunk*  
Big Smoke: BITCH  
Big Smoke: STOP  
Big Smoke: YOU POTATO  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *you miss*  
Ivan the Turtle: I DID IY BECAUSE IM EDGY AS FUCK  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Runs to my locker*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *I am almost as school exit*  
Big Smoke: *one last bullet hits his shoe*  
Big Smoke: BITCH  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: bu  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: bu  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: MAH SHOE  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
Big Smoke: NIGGA  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Cries*  
Big Smoke: YOUR TIM'S ARE MINE  
Ivan the Turtle: *takes out knife*  
Ivan the Turtle: Stabs principal in balls*  
Big Smoke: *pulls him by the hair*  
Big Smoke: FUCK  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOO  
Big Smoke: OH MY GOD  
Ivan the Turtle: DIE IN HELL  
Big Smoke: *big smoke moan*  
Ivan the Turtle: IM EDGY AF  
Big Smoke: AAAAAAAAAAAAH  
Big Smoke: *takes his gun and shoots ivan in the gut*  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Ivan the Turtle: ALLAHU ACKBAR  
Ivan the Turtle: *Pulls open abc vest*  
Big Smoke: WHAT THE FUCK  
Big Smoke: FUCK  
Ivan the Turtle: *Grenade coat*  
Big Smoke: *runs away*  
Big Smoke: *pulls drunk away with him*  
Ivan the Turtle: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Big Smoke: FUCK  
Ivan the Turtle: I DIE FOR ISIS  
Big Smoke: *gets out of the school*  
Ivan the Turtle: LIKE THE EDGY PRETEEN I AM  
Ivan the Turtle: 8is repressed homosexual*  
Big Smoke: HEY  
Big Smoke: STOP  
Ivan the Turtle: *starts slappin ass in detention*  
Big Smoke: I KNOW YOURE GAY  
Big Smoke: PLEASE  
Big Smoke: THE SCHOOL ACCEPTS EVERYONE  
Ivan the Turtle: I DIE FOR HOMOSEXUALS EVERYWHERE  
Big Smoke: fuck  
Ivan the Turtle: Oh ok  
Big Smoke: *rushes back in the school*  
Ivan the Turtle: thats cool  
Big Smoke: oh ye  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Suddenly the police bursts in*  
Ivan the Turtle: Puts down gun*  
Big Smoke: awesome  
Big Smoke: OFFICER  
Ivan the Turtle: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Big Smoke: HE STABBED MY FUCKING BALLS  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Is Officer Austin's cousin*  
Ivan the Turtle: *Pulls pin*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: PUT YOUR HANDS UP  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: PRINCIPAL  
Ivan the Turtle: ALLAHU AKBAR  
Ivan the Turtle: *Runs at caops*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: STOP ATTACKIN THE ELEVEN YEAR OLD  
Ivan the Turtle: *starts pulling all the pins*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YA NIGGA  
Big Smoke: HE STABBED MY BALLS  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: NO HE DIDNT  
Big Smoke: HES A TERRORIST  
Big Smoke: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH  
Big Smoke: *runs away*  
Ivan the Turtle: *Jumnps on principal  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Shoots Big Smoke in the legs*  
Ivan the Turtle: *tackles*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Two times*  
Big Smoke: NO  
Big Smoke: NO  
Big Smoke: PLEASE  
Big Smoke: IVAN PLEASE  
Ivan the Turtle: *Blows up*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: HANDS UP WHERE I CAN SEE THEM  
Big Smoke: I LOVE GAYS  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: FAT ASS NIGGER FUCK  
Big Smoke: *dies*  
Big Smoke left chat.  
Ivan the Turtle: *slow mo* I LOVE SNICKERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: *Shoots the 11 year old*  
Drunk Repressed Farmer: FUCKER

**Author's Note:**

> Your now officially scared for life and HIV positive congrats.


End file.
